Eggman is the Walrus.

Warning! The following is really weird! Read at own risk!

“Alright Eggman! You’re not getting away this time!” Sonic called as he ran after the fleeing Dr. Robotnik, exiting the long pass through the mountains and arriving in an expansive, grassy valley. Not a field, a valley, and there certainly weren’t any strawberries around. As peaceful as it looked, Sonic knew he couldn’t be here forever.

Eggman turned his floating Egg-pod around, coming to a stop, facing his adversary. “That’s what you think Sonic! But you have yet to witness my latest, greatest creation!” The Doctor boasted.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve seen plenty of your “latest, greatest” creations Ro-butt-nik. Let me guess, Metal Sonic again, another Egg Carrier? Or are you gonna try and launch the Death Egg again?”

“Hmph, you’re as annoying as usual I see. No, it is none of those. Behold the A.C.I.D.! The Audio Channeling Inner-ear Destroyer! Also know as…” Robotnik pressed a series of buttons on his dashboard, and out of the sky feel a large black beast of a robot. “The Egg-Woofer!”

Sonic looked up at the monstrosity. It was shaped like a rectangle, with eyes, arms, and legs coming out of it in the proper places, and a single, enormous speaker filled its mid-section. “What are ya gonna do, blow me away with really loud music? You do remember I can run at the speed of sound, right?” Sonic mocked.

“Oh no Sonic, I have something much more terrible planned for you,” Robotnik said, chuckling to himself as he pressed another series of buttons on his control panel. The Egg-Woofer came to life, and began to play a simple song. Obviously it was loud, but not what Sonic was expecting. A microphone extended out in front of Eggman, which he grabbed a hold of. “I am he as you are he as you are me, and we are all together…
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly… I’m cryin’…” Robotnik crooned, not even remotely in tune.

“Okay, ow,” Sonic said first, rubbing his ears. “What exactly are you sayi…?”

“Sitting on a corn flake… waiting for the van to come,” Eggman continued, as Sonic tried to make sense of the lyrics. “Corporation t-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday. Man, you’ve been a naughty boy. You’ve let your face grow long.”

Sonic was trying to block to sound of Eggman’s horrible singing from his ears, but the A.C.I.D. was too strong. And the song was so dementedly catchy, despite the fact Sonic couldn’t figure out the words at all. It’s like they were written just to confuse any listener.

“I am the Eggman!” Eggman called, getting louder. “They are the Eggmen! I am the walrus!” He stroked his beard as he said this. “Goo goo g’joob!” The song continued, but Eggman stopped singing as Sonic fell to the ground, his hands holding his ears flat. He rolled around on his song, yelling in pain and anger. “And now, for the finisher. This should keep you occupied for a while. Fire the secret weapon A.C.I.D.!”

The Egg-Woofer pointed its hands at Sonic as Eggman put a mask on. Sonic looked up just in time to see a strange smoke shooting towards him as Eggman quickly drove away, laughing manically. “Agh, what is this stuff? It’s making me feel… kinda, good actually…” Sonic drifted off into an illusion as the LSD filled his body.

* * * * *

Sonic opened his eyes, and looked around. He felt like he was floating, and all around him were flashing cubes and visions of strange fish and birds. “Woah, this seems kinda feels familiar. I think I’ve been here before…” he tried to move, and began to spin around. He bounced off the walls, peppermint circles, and bouncing star balls, making his way to a central area. There, he tried hitting slightly different shaped squares, which exploded in flashing lights as he hit them.

“Oh man… this is awesome… but what am I trying to get…”

“I don’t know, but you’ll need this to stop the Eggman,” a voice called. Sonic stopped spinning and turned around. Standing there was a creature he’d never seen before. He had similar stature to a Chao, his hands and feet were balls, and his head was abnormally large for his body. He was a gray-white color, with pointed ears on his head, large, shining eyes,(with equally large eyebrows), and on his stomach was a symbol, with the appearance of a “d” and an “a” linked together.

“Who… who are you?” Sonic asked.

“I am the great Fella. And I have come to help you defeat the Eggman.”

“That’s awesome man… but, uh, how am I supposed to get out of this place…”

“That’s where I come in… you must take this, the legendary eighth Chaos Emerald.” Fella held a Chaos Emerald that was a flowing mixture of all the other colors, and on it was a symbol similar to the one on Fella’s stomach.

“But… if we add another emerald, I won’t be ripping off of Dragon Bal anymore.”


“Awesome,” Sonic said, taking the technicolored emerald. Suddenly he was back in the valley. And Eggman wasn’t far away. He held the Eighth Emerald in his hand, and the other seven Chaos Emeralds began to fly around him as he powered up.

* * * * *

Eggman was flying away, confident in his success over his long time adversary. “The fact that he’s extremely high and in pain from my singing should keep him at bay for a while.”

“Think again Eggy!” Sonic called as he zoomed up to the Egg-pod, blasting through it. Eggman fell to the ground, looking up at the rapidly flashing Hyper Sonic.

“Hyper Sonic? But I thought you could only do that with those Super Emeralds that don’t exist anymore?”

“You’re right. But I got a little help from my friend,” Hyper Sonic pointed to his right where, to him at least, Fella was standing. He gave the figment of his acid trip a high-five. “Oh, happy B-Day by the way, dude.”

“Hey, thanks for remembering!” Fella said, a large grin stretching across his face.



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